If you feel exhausted, disconnected, or unable to relax after your shift, this free guide will help you understand why and what you can do about it.
The Job Isn't the Problem. This Is.
ABOUT
RYANNE
I'm Ryanne Stellingwerf. Licensed psychotherapist, trauma-informed coach, and someone who has sat where you're sitting.
You found this page because something isn't working. Maybe it's been building for a while. Maybe you can't quite name it yet. Either way, you're here -- and that tells me something about you.
How I got here
In 2004, after my life had pretty much fallen apart, I applied for 40 military contractor positions in two weeks. Someone had told me about the opportunities available overseas, and between needing a purpose and needing a paycheck, I decided it was worth a shot. They called me back, trained me up, and then told me I was going to a forward operating base in downtown Baghdad. I had never left the country.
I stayed for 7 years. I worked 84-hour weeks, managed an autoimmune condition in a combat environment, and learned more about what sustained high-alert does to a human being than any textbook ever could. I loved the purpose, the people, and the intensity of it in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it.
Ordinary life made no sense. The numb that had kept me functional overseas stopped working, and I found myself hypervigilant in a grocery store with no reason to get out of bed in the morning. I had spent seven years in a place that made complete sense to me and come back to a world that didn't.
I had already decided to become a therapist while I was deployed — I finished most of my Master's degree overseas — because I had watched enough people come home broken to know that someone needed to be ready for them when they got there. When I got licensed, I became a combat trauma specialist. I spent the next decade helping people rebuild careers and lives that high-stress service had quietly dismantled.
What I noticed, over and over, was that the women who called me were already in crisis. They were calling because they were about to lose something — a career, a relationship, themselves. I kept thinking: what if they'd had these tools ten years ago?
That's why I built Armor & Grace.
Coming home was harder than anything I faced over there. Ordinary life made no sense.
What I believe
Your training didn't break you. It made you exceptional at something specific. The problem is that nobody trained you for what comes after the shift ends — and that gap has real consequences for everything outside of work.
The skills that fix that gap are learnable. Your neural net is trainable in both directions. The same capacity that built your professional edge can build genuine recovery, presence, and a life that doesn't run entirely on fumes.
You deserve support before you hit the wall. Armor & Grace exists because I believe that.
Credentials & Experience
Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling, Capella University
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), licensed in Montana
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP)
Specialized training in Natural Health and Functional Medicine
Over 10 years clinical experience with trauma and high-stress professions
Seven years as a civilian military contractor in Iraq and Afghanistan
Founder, Discover Solutions
Creator, Armor & Grace program
Who I work best with
You're still showing up at work. You're still good at the job. But something is eroding at home and you know it, even if you can't name it yet. You've probably tried handling it on your own—and you're good at that too, which is part of why you're still stuck.
You want tools, not sympathy. You want someone who understands the field without needing it explained. You're ready to work.
If that's you, you're in the right place.